If someone tells you they’re thinking about suicide, or shows signs that they may be at risk, always take it seriously. It is not your job to decide how serious they are, that’s not a judgement call anyone should make alone, and guessing wrong in either direction carries real risk. What you can do is ask directly and calmly, so you understand what they mean. Something like “can you tell me more about what you mean by that?” or “are you saying you’re thinking about ending your life?” Their answer, not your instinct about their mood or how well you know them, is what tells you what to do next.

If they confirm they’re having thoughts of suicide, alert your EAP and emergency services immediately, as well as a family member. This isn’t about treating every casual comment as a crisis. Whilst your support is very important, it’s about making sure that the people who are trained to assess risk are the ones who do it, not you.

Employers and individuals also carry duties of care in these situations, so acting quickly and bringing in the right people isn’t optional, it’s the first and most important step.

This Suicide Awareness Month, it’s worth remembering that you also have a role to play well before that point. Often, the people who first notice something isn’t right, are colleagues, friends and family members.

Notice the signs, not the cause
People show they’re struggling in different ways, and it rarely comes down to one clear reason. Look out for withdrawal from people and activities they normally enjoy, changes in sleep or appetite, a sudden drop in energy, or a flat, disconnected way of speaking. Sometimes there’s a shift the other way too, a sudden sense of calm or relief after a period of visible distress. None of these signs confirms anything on their own. Together, though, they’re worth paying attention to.

Start the conversation
Research consistently shows that asking someone directly about suicide does not increase their risk. In fact, it often does the opposite. It gives them permission to talk about what they’re going through and can bring a sense of relief, knowing they don’t have to carry it alone.

Listen without trying to fix
Once someone opens up, your job isn’t to solve their problem or offer advice. It’s to listen. Let them talk without interrupting, minimising or rushing to reassure. Simple, honest responses work best, things like “that sounds really hard” or “I’m glad you told me.”

THE DOS AND DON’TS

Know when to call for help
If someone has a plan, a means, or you believe they’re in immediate danger, reach out to NMG SmartAssist Programme Counsellors who are available 24/7 to assist you or a family member. In addition, the SADAG Suicide Crisis Line, 0800 567 567, and emergency services can be reached on 112 from any mobile. Calling in a professional means you’ve got them the right kind of help.

Talk. Listen. Save a life. You don’t need the right words, just the willingness to start and take the time to hear them.

If you need someone to talk to, or want guidance on supporting a colleague or loved one, a NMG SmartAssist Programme counsellor is available, confidentially and at no cost.